Harleys, Cars, Girls & Guitars

Harley Rule #32… Don’t Ditch With Mistress!

Arkansas football coach, Bobby Petrino, ditched his motorcycle yesterday, but he declined when a passerby asked him if he needed help. The reason… his very pretty mistress, Jessica Dorrell, had been riding on the back seat. Apparently, Petrino didn’t want Mrs. Petrino to find out about the mishap.

I’m not sure how Petrino expected to hide these injuries from his wife. Well… he might just have wanted to hide the mistress. Can’t blame him for that!

Ms. Dorrell is cute and a couple of decades younger than Petrino. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. She can ride on the back of my Harley any day. She’s a former college volleyball player, so I think she’s probably in good shape.

Petrino makes $3.8 million coaching Arkansas, which probably makes him a much more attractive romantic partner than me. He can afford any kind of motorcycle he wants.

I’m taking my Road King into the shop today for repairs and the spring tune-up. My speedometer broke last season, shortly before I broke my shoulder riding my bicycle. I’m replacing it with a combo speedometer/tachometer.

Petrino is now on paid administrative lead, not because he was riding with his mistress, but because he gave Dorrell a $53,000 job.  He could get fired, because of his "inappropriate relationship."  $3.8 million is a hell of a price to pay for a girlfriend.

Sure wish I could find one of those cute 25 year old girls to ride bitch.

Deron Takes Revenge on Jeremy Lin

Watched the Knicks vs. Nets games last night with divided allegiance. Deron Williams is the pride of the Fighting Illini... probably the best player in the history of the Illini. He led my alma mater to the National Championship game in 2005. And, I've been enjoying Linsanity,

Jeremy Lin's explosive ascent to fame began on February 4th against Deron and the Nets. I don't think Deron appreciated being the patsy. Last night, he got even, with a stunning performance at Madison Square Garden, leading the Nets to a 92 to 82 win.

Deron showed why he's considered one of the premier point guards in the NBA and the cornerstone of the Nets' franchise. He canned 8 three pointers, scored 38 points and handed out 6 assists. He applied considerable muscle to Lin, too.

Lin also played a decent game, putting up 21 points and 9 assists.

But, last night the veteran pulled rank on the kid. Deron is an All-Star for a reason. I watched the game on the Knicks' MSG network, and they spent the entire night talking about Lin, but the story was all Deron Williams.

Deron was clearly tired of hearing about Jeremy Lin.

Cubs Open Spring Training! Anything Can Happen!

The Theo Epstein era was launched in Mesa, Arizona, yesterday, when Cubs’ pitchers and catchers reported.

We’ve got a new manager, Dale Sveum. He’s promised that the team is going to run out ground balls! This is probably the key to ending the championship drought.

That’s Sveum in the middle in the pic above.

Epstein, the Cubs’ new general manager, is writing manuals on “The Cub Way” for distribution throughout the major and minor league systems.

2012 promises to be a throwaway year for the Cubs. Their advertising mantra is “Anything Can Happen!” True, but I’m not counting on a World Series.

Thank God, spring is just about here.  Play ball!

Jeremy Lin Takes New York by Storm!

I watched last night’s Knicks game at the gym while I rode the stationary bike. Grabbed one of the gym attendants and made him dial up the game. I had to watch Jeremy Lin. When Lin hit the winning bucket with half a second on the clock, the gym went nuts. Me, too.

My mom’s hometown is Bloomington, Indiana, home of Indiana University, the most basketball crazed town in the country. Watseka, Illinois, where I grew up, is not that far from French Lick, Indiana, Larry Bird’s hometown. So, I grew up with basketball in the blood. Every dad in my hometown erected a basket and a backboard in the backyard.

So, I think I know basketball. Hell, everybody from my hometown thinks he’s an expert on basketball.

Lin reminds me of Phil Smith, who led the Golden State Warriors to an NBA championship in 1975. Like Smith, Lin drives relentlessly to the baseline every time he brings the ball down court. Lin doesn’t showboat much. He makes the simplest pass every time. He’ll take the layup if you don’t stop his dribble, and if you do, he’ll find the shooter on the perimeter.

Smith was very similar, and he had Rick Barry, probably the best jump shooter in the history of the NBA, drifting around on the wing.

How in God’s name did everybody miss out on Lin? Why did every team in the NBA pass on him?

The level of play in the NBA is awful. I heard Charles Barkley talking this several days ago. Barkley said that half the teams in the NBA stink, and that the league needs to contract to improve the quality of play. He also said that players should be staying in college for four years to learn the game, and I agree.

The NBA (and, unfortunately college basketball) have become entranced by the notion of “athletic” versus “non-athletic” players. There is a huge racial element at play in this notion. Blacks are supposed to be “athletic.” Non-blacks aren’t. Anybody who’s watched Jeremy Lin and still thinks that Asians can’t be athletic… well, they’re not watching the same guy I’m watching.

In other words, there are undoubtedly quite a few Jeremy Lin’s out there, Asian and white, who aren’t getting a fair shot in the NBA.

When I was in the Philippines, I was astounded to discover that Filipinos are mad about basketball. You’ll find a dirt court in the middle of every slum. I even found a makeshift court out in the middle of the jungle! And, I met and played against some great young players. When I played corporate league ball, my team routinely got its ass kicked by Asian squads. They didn’t have a player over 6 foot tall, but they ran and passed like maniacs.  Every other team was freelancing, but the Asian teams always had an offensive scheme.

I’m going to have to find some tickets to a Knick’s game so that I can watch Jeremy Lin in person. He’s just what the Knicks were struggling to find. The Knicks were just awful before he came into the picture. I think Lin is the Knick's ticket to the playoffs.

2012 Cubs: Can't ID the Players Without a Program

The Cubs teams that reached the playoffs in 2007 & 2008 have been dismantled, and we’re back to rebuilding.  Of course, those teams were swept both years in the playoffs, and everybody got old.  Last year, the team hit bottom, finishing 5th in the National League Central.   Here’s the projected lineup pre-spring training.

   

Pitchers and catchers report on Saturday!

The Cubs’ strategy of throwing money at free agents didn’t produce a championship, so the new management, led by Theo Epstein, will try player development in the minors and majors.  It worked for the Red Sox, who Epstein built into a World Champion.

The infield is all kids, led by the new star of the Cubs, Starlin Castro, at SS.  Veterans Marlon Byrd and Alfonso Soriano remain in the outfield.  The Cubs would love to trade away Soriano for a handful of prospects but nobody wants to pick up his bloated contract. 

The Cubs want to sell tickets, so they keep saying that this is not a throw away year, but it looks exactly like that’s the strategy.  Develop kids and hope to be competitive in a couple of years.  Hope that a new manager, Dale Sveum, imported from Milwaukee, can change the culture of the clubhouse. 

I’m a Cubs' fan from birth, so I’ll probably watch the team when I can.  I’m a fair weather Yankee fan.  If the Cubs are 25 games out by August, I’ll switch allegiance to the Yankees.

Bruce Weber Death Watch at Illinois

Fighting Illini basketball used to be fun to watch. Not any more. Head Coach Bruce Weber has not only failed at producing winning teams, he's produced horribly boring teams. Weber's philosophy seems to be to aim to win 50 to 49, playing shut down defense. Not surprisingly, this is not exciting top rated recruits to want to play for him.

The Big Ten is known for tough, physical play. Weber has made things even uglier, with his insistence on defense first and offense... well, far down the list. His teams over the past 6 years have been incredibly offensively inept. They seem to always walk the ball upcourt, often deliberately turning down fast break opportunities.

Everybody likes Bruce personally. But, he's just too old school for today's recruits. He is just no fun at all.

His detractors have labeled his offensive style as "three yards and a cloud of dust." And, unfortunately, they're right.

If we're going to keep losing, I'd prefer to lose 80 to 75.

Weber's old school intransigence is about to force him out of his job. He'll most likely be fired at the end of this season. Not to worry. He made over $10 million during his tenure at Illinois.

The next coach at Illinois is going to have to be somebody who can excite young men with a style of play that is fun. The kids just won't play for somebody as grumpy and determined to place the lid on the offense as Weber.

I vote for Shaka Smart, the flashy young coach at VCU.

My Favorite Super Bowl Moments

Two Illini played big roles for the Giants in their Super Bowl victory. Dave Diehl, the Giants’ tackle, introduced himself as hailing from  “the University of Chief Illiniwek.”  God bless him.  The Chief was killed by the bonehead NCAA bureaucracy because he was deemed un-PC.  And, Steve Weatherford placed a couple of punts that pinned the Patriots deep in their own territory.  Oskee Wow Wow! That's a pic of Diehl below.

My favorite commercial was the one that ended with the octogenarian, Betty White, coyly scolding the boys for looking at her boobs.   Very clever.

The running gag throughout many of the commercials was switching in the middle or the end from pitching one product to pitching another.  One commercial even featured a pitch for Twinkies in the middle of a pitch for the Chevrolet Silverado.  Concealing the purpose of the pitch has been a conceit of commercials for some time.  The product is just too boring, so you’ve got to jazz things up with graphics and animation. 

Nobody had anything to say about the game at the shop this morning, but everybody was interested in the commercials.  We’re in the biz… so, that’s what gets our attention.

I was surprised by how many of the pitches were for movies.  Of course, movies are great products for pitches, especially action movies with fast moving trailers.  The beer commercials were just awful.  A sense of humor goes a long way in commercial production, and the beer pitches had none. 

Rooting for Big Blue on Broadway

I’m picking the Giants by 3 over the Pats. Passed by this inflated Giants figure on Eighth Avenue on Friday. The Celtic Pub is hosting a big party for the Super Bowl. New York is definitely a drinking town. Too bad, because I’m no longer a drinker.

I’m not a home grown Giants fan. In fact, I’m not a big pro football fan. Prefer college football, and especially the games of my alma mater, the University of Illinois Fighting Illini.

But, you gotta watch the Super Bowl. Got a big steak at Sam’s yesterday. I’ll eat dinner in front of my new flat screen TV. Commercials galore!

I'm interested in the commercials... because it's my biz.  With millions to spend, the producers hire the best graphics and animation nerds in the biz.  It will be interesting to see what they do.

Madonna... I can do without. 

Football News: Hurt Feelings Report

Pat Lynch used to coach the Buffalo County High School football team in Wyoming. That was until he got pissed and issued his Hurt Feelings Report to the team.

God! I laughed my ass off over that. That kind of tough guy shit was just par for the course back in my days in high school.

The coach is a mean looking, ugly mother. I wouldn't want him chewing out my ass.

The funniest part of this story is that, after the school shit canned Lynch for his Hurt Feelings Report, they decided to keep him on as… you’re not going to believe this… a guidance counselor!

They’re still turning out he-men cowboys out there in Wyoming!

Listen, you friggin' Old Dogs... I hear any whining and bitching from you, and I'm handing out the Hurt Feelings Report!

Penn State Tries Some PR

Since I used to work in PR and media in corporate land, I wondered how Penn State is trying to frame a PR response to the incredible child sex abuse scandal that has resulted in the firing of Joe Paterno. The new President of the university has this to say in a website video.  The previous president got canned.

The PSU athletic department put up this page.  Despite many calls for the cancellation of the game on Saturday between Penn State and Nebraska, the game goes on.

I don’t know what I’d do if I’d been assigned to write and produce a media response to this catastrophe. What can Penn State do except throw itself on the mercy of the court, and pledge to clean the whole mess up? Not much to do but to offer up the expected cliches. Glad I don't have the job.

Will Penn State change? Football is a huge revenue producer. The 107,000 seat stadium is full for every game. Early rumors are that Urban Meyer, one of the most prominent coaches in the game, will take over at Penn State. I don’t think that Penn State is going to give up on big time football.