Back when I was courting Myrna, 27 years ago, she astounded and disturbed me by telling me repeatedly... "A Filipina makes the best wife!" She kept promising me that she would always have my back and seek to support and build me up. Thoroughly trained as I was in feminist propaganda, I thought that this was something that I should probably convince her to cease.
My indoctrination in feminist propaganda had convinced me that women had no obligation to do anything in their romantic relationships with men. Everything was for women.
So, I sat out to cure Myrna of her refusal to accede to feminist propaganda.
Myrna set out to prove to me that she was a great wife.
She ironed my clothes, including my undershorts until I convinced her that that was unnecessary. Every morning, on my way out the door to work, she inspected my appearance. In her way of looking at things, that reflected on her competence as a wife.
And, Myrna asked me repeatedly if she was serving me well.
We both worked in Manhattan and we took the subway together. As I exited first from the train she would kiss me and say:
"You're such a handsome man!"
Our early days today were very confusing and quite exhilarating to me. I often wondered how in the hell I had wandered into such bliss. And, I felt guilty. My feminist indoctrination had taught me that it was my obligation to serve my wife. My wife owed me nothing except what she deigned to confer on me.
I tried to re-educate Myrna in the correct feminist way of looking at things. She refused to read the feminist tracts I suggested to her. Nor was she particularly interested in the feminist lectures I tried to give her.
Even as I tell you this story today, I feel compelled to rationalize her behavior to you, to explain that she really was a competent professional woman who made a good income and that she was an independent up to date girl.
None of that, however, mattered to Myrna. She was focused entirely on the success of her marriage and the happiness of her man.
Slowly, I started to turn toward her way of thinking and doing things. She was winning incrementally!