Mayor Bloomberg likes to lecture New Yorkers about their habits and vices. We can't even enjoy our subway ride to work without receiving one of Mayor Nanny's lectures. I found this poster that I encountered on the E Train this morning particularly annoying.
I can't drink any more. Had to give it up because of rosacea. My face explodes in pimples and swells up like a red balloon when I drink. The good thing about drinking is precisely that you lose your mind and do things you'd never think of doing while sober.
Myrna loved to tie one on! When she drank, she loved to raise hell, and she was good at it. If you wanted a fist fight, she'd be happy to give you one. I won't even tell you all the crazy things we did after a few martinis. Use your imagination. We had a hell of a lot of fun. That woman was a one person walking riot.
My days of drinking and fighting are long over. Gave it up back when I was a kid. By the time you're 16 or so, you're likely to really hurt somebody if you punch them in the mouth. Now that I'm an old fart, I'd probably break my hand if I punched some asshole in the mouth. Believe me, I meet a lot of assholes in New York City who need a punch in the mouth!
My favorite tune about the dangers of drinking and carousing is The Winner, by Bobby Bare. A country song is a good way to tell the young bucks the dangers of drinking and fist fighting.
I don't need this shit from Mayor Nanny, especially when I'm tired and struggling to drag this old body into work. I was out with those damned Old Dawgz last night, and we were howling and carrying on till 10 o'clock!
What I wouldn't give for a night of drinking and carousing with Myrna again! Oh, well... that will have to wait for the next life.
"Now that I'm an old fart, I'd probably break my hand if I punched some asshole in the mouth."
If your trying to punch an asshole and breaking your hand on his teeth, Your Aiming Too High.
As Buddy Guy said "You Done Got Old".
Posted by: Big Joe | Thursday, February 02, 2012 at 04:14 PM