Harleys, Cars, Girls & Guitars

House of the Rising Sun... Earliest Recording

House of the Rising Sun is, I think, the most popular blues song in history. Here’s the earliest known recording, a 1935 version by Tom Clarence Ashley and Gwen Foster. Their band was called the Carolina Tar Heels.

An absolutely beautiful rendition. Two things really stand out. The chord structure is subtly different than contemporary versions. And, between each verse, the guitar player picks a line that is usually delivered via yodeling. The lyrics, of course, are completely different from the version most of us know by The Animals.

Of course, what is really disconcerting about this original version of House of the Rising Sun is that it is so damned white. The Carolina Tar Heels was a country band, and it was a bunch of crackers from Appalachia. The depth of soul that this band plays with ain’t supposed to be heard from crackers.

The Animals' version emphasizes folky and blues trends that were just beginning to take hold in 1964. Every aspiring guitar player added it to his repertoire in the 60s, including me.

The story of the House of the Rising Sun is something everybody can identify with. “Don’t you do what I have done” is one of the most compelling lines ever penned in popular music. That life of “sin and misery” is powerfully tempting. And, we live with the consequences for the rest of our lives.

No Such Thing as a Stupid Question

Every time I start a new consulting job, that's the first thing the boss tells me. We're here to help you! Don't hesitate to ask questions!

Of course, it's a lie. Software development is the province of nerds. Nerds are all exceedingly vain about their IQs.

So, while you might get away with asking for directions to the men's room or for help in getting a couple of pads of notebook paper, you're risking your job if you ask anybody a substantive question about what you actually do on the job... programming or setting up your system, etc

The Indian programmers are the worst. They bring with them an Old World work ethic and an equally Old World belief that life ain't fair and you're on your own buddy.

So, yesterday, I suffered through programmer's hell. A new client wanted to "test" me by having me work out a coding issue on a big flat screen on the conference room wall while the boss and an Indian programmer watched. Working through coding issues is precisely what I try to hide from my employer. They're only supposed to see the end result.

I felt like I was taking a shit in an auditorium filled with a crowd of thousands criticizing my every grunt and groan.

I can't imagine that the Indian programmer had anything positive to tell the boss in his post mortem. Programmers never have anything positive to say about one another.

At the end of the session, I wiped my butt and pulled up my pants. Of course, the boss said:

Don't worry. We're a team here. Feel free to ask us when you need help. There's no such thing as a stupid question!

God help me!

How Much is That Doggie in the WIndow?

Fooling around with my iPad tonight. Wanted to check out the damn things resolution and sentivity to light. So, I recorded this classic, with the help of the Karaoke Queen.

As I said... a classic. I'm trying to get the Old Dogs to do this tune.  Maybe just a verse and a chorus.  Mike the Mutt, our drummer, started singing it spontaneously at our last rehearsal.

I want to play up the doggie angle for all it's worth in terms of PR. I'm gonna buy the boys a couple of fire hydrants to place on the sides of the stage.

Who knows? Maybe they'll use them.

Adobe Flash Will Survive

The recent announcement from Adobe that it will abandon its efforts to support Flash in mobile applications has produced a chorus of glee from the anti-Flash mob. I think that Flash (or something like it) will survive. It's important here to distinguish between Flash the application program and Flash the web browser plug-in.

Let’s take a look at Flash, the application program. This is the part that will survive.

The reason why Flash (or something like it) will survive is demonstrated by that picture above. That big white space on the bottom of the pic is Flash’s canvas. It’s a lot like Photoshop’s canvas. (Well, to be exact, it’s more like Illustrator’s because it’s vector rather than bitmap based.) The toolbar to the left of the canvas is also similar to the toolbar in Photoshop and Illustrator.

The primary use for Flash is cell based animation. You can see the timeline and its component cells near the top of the pic above.

I drew that circle on Flash’s canvas, just like you would draw a circle on Photoshop’s canvas. It’s easy. You see what you’ve done instantly. The circle is placed in precisely the position I want. Color and size are easily fixed.

By way of contrast, here’s how you would draw and place a circle on a webpage using javascript/HTML 5:

ctx.beginPath();
ctx.arc(100, 100, 50, 0, 2 * Math.PI, false);
ctx.fillStyle = "rgb(255, 0, 0)";
ctx.fill();

That's not even the whole story.  There's some set-up work in javascript involved, too.  The canvas itself has to be defined.  But, that's too complicated and lengthy to get into here.

The same is true of jQuery or java, which are other scripting languages that might be used in place of Flash. Apple’s iOS is somewhere in between scripting languages and Flash.

So, Flash provides for much shorter development time in any graphic heavy application. When you program in Flash, you just place objects on the canvas. When you program in a scripting language, you describe in text (and numbers) how that object should look and where it should be placed. With Flash, you see results instantly. With a scripting language, you’ve got to compile and run before you see anything.

This is why Flash (in some form) will survive. I suspect that Adobe is already at work on a version of Flash that retains the graphical work environment and outputs to the new web standards. In other words, Flash in the future will output in javascript, jQuery, HTML 5 and CSS 3.

The Flash web browser plug-in will become obsolete and disappear, but Flash the application program will survive.

The ability to work in a graphic environment, and to see what you are doing as you develop cuts development time dramatically.  Scripting languages also demand much greater skill on the part of the developer.  Yet another reason why Flash will survive.

 

Happy Thanksgiving from the Old Dogs!

We've been working like a dog! Time to take a break! Today, we're going to be Bad to the Bone.

The Old Dogs wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Born to Work Like a Dog

My attempt to retire has failed. Back to work! Yes, I’ve been offered two jobs. Looks like I’ll be setting the alarm clock again, getting my ass out of bed and living in the dog pen that is the cubicle farm. This Old Dog still has to learn some new tricks.

Had a great rehearsal with the Old Dogs last night! We worked like dogs! Plenty of dog jokes, barking and howling. We played our dog hearts out. Big Joe got a part time job, so he’s going back to work, too.

The Old Dogs sound great, and we laugh our asses off all the way through rehearsal. Most fun I’ve had in a band in… shit… I can’t remember when.

I was born to work. I’ve had so many friggin’ jobs. One of my first jobs, way back when I was a kid, was playing taps on the trumpet for funerals for veterans. This was in my teeny-tiny hometown of Watseka, Illinois, population just about 6,000.

The American Legion paid me 10 bucks a hit for playing taps. I stood out there in the graveyard in the middle of Illinois winters with the mouthpiece freezing to my lips. 10 bucks was a hell of a lot of money back in the mid 60s.

Dozens of jobs since then. I can’t even remember them all.

My Daddy, bless him, taught me to work like a dog. That’s what he thought it meant to be a man. Only bums don’t work.

Dad had a paper route for decades. He met the train in Kankakee at 10 p.m. on Saturday, and we stacked 40 pound bundles of the Chicago Tribune and Sun-Times in his big truck. When, I started working with him, I was six. Occasionally, the locomotives were steam engines.

We delivered the bundles of newspapers to drug stores, grocery stores and newsstands over two counties. I slept with my head in Dad’s lap between stops. We listened to the Grand Ol’ Opry on the radio.

I jumped out of the truck in subfreezing temperatures in Midwestern blizzards to toss the bundles of newspapers onto the front steps of our clients. Dad thought that learning to work, and to cope with whatever life dished out was good for me... and he was right.

So, this Old Dog is back in harness. No lap dogs in this house. If you can’t earn your keep, you can take your sorry dog ass out and live on the street.

TV on My iPad

I downloaded the Time Warner app that enables me to watch TV on my iPad. So, I can now watch one show on my TV, and another on my iPad. I'm assuming that I can watch TV anywhere that I can access wifi, but I haven't checked that out yet.

And, yes, you Fox News haters, I was watching Greta Van Sustern when I took this screenshot.

When it comes to politics, I get my Marching Orders™ direct from Bill O'Reilly.™ Don't do anything until I get those Marching Orders!™

I'll withhold judgment as to whether watching TV on an iPad is worth the trouble. So far, the only use I've found for it is watching one show on my TV and another on the iPad. The screen is tiny but, when I hold it right in front of my face, it works.

At least, accessing TV on the iPad isn't costing me anything.

Forced Sobriety, Forced Celibacy… Boo Hoo!

Yes, It’s Crying Time Again. Haven’t had a drink in months. Sex life… what’s that? Can’t drink because my nose will swell up and glow like a red light bulb. No sex life because… well, who in the hell would I have sex with? Boo Hoo!

Yeah, I know you don’t care. Why should you?

Life can change so dramatically. Only seven years ago, had all the drinking and carousing that I wanted. Then, Myrna died. Sure, I was a proud bastard back then. Cock of the walk. Had everything going. Plenty of money, too.

Staying sober all the time sucks. Can never just let go of everything. Rosacea has extracted a heavy price. If I even smell liquor, my face explodes in red sores. The swelling hurts. As much as I want to drink, I can’t. And, I love having a glass of wine with dinner. That part of life is just gone. (Perhaps, I need to find another type of intoxicant!)

Seems like it’s too damn late to go out there and try to find another woman. What a drag. Trying to sell myself again! How in the hell would I do that? And, the shadow of Myrna stands over my life. No woman in her right mind wants to put up with that.

So, this is the way that it goes. Lose one thing. Lose another. Keep losing until I lose this body and head off into the next world. Boo Fucking Hoo!

Lord, I need a drink!

Filial Piety at a Korean Wedding

I attended a wedding in a Korean Methodist church in Jersey yesterday. The bride was Korean, the groom American. The church was very impressive. A $50,000 Steinway grand and all the latest audio and video equipment to put on a big show. Catholics are so boring. The Protestants and Evangelicals are into entertainment.

The bride and groom wore standard American formal attire for the wedding, then they changed into traditional Korean costumes for the reception.

The bride’s parents flew in from Korea. The bride and groom honored the parents by bowing to them, in a demonstration of traditional filial piety. The parents were then given a microphone and asked to advise the bride and groom on how to conduct their marriage.

Americans throw out tradition like they throw away the wrapper of a candy bar they just ate. I’m as guilty as anybody, so I’m not preaching.

It was refreshing to see the bride and groom honor the tradition of the bride’s parents. But, even they fall a little short.

One of the Korean traditions is for the father of the bride to place a walnut into the bride’s hands, each walnut representing a hoped for child to be produced by the marriage.

Although the bride went through the ceremony, I don’t think she has any intention of producing children. She’s well into her mid-40s and her new husband is approaching 50. It is, I believe, a first marriage for both.

Sadly, I don’t think that the bride’s parents will be seeing grandchildren.

The church will be performing the Messiah on December 18th. I think I’ll go back for the show.

Work for Free! We'll Pay You Later!

I'm trying like hell to stay retired, but the recruiters keep calling. Problem is, everybody wants a hero. Six programming and scripting languages. Eight application programs. Applicant must be self-starter who's upbeat and determined to beat the world!

It's been the same old song for the past six years or so. No employer wants to spend a dime on training, or even a couple of days on orientation, or (in some cases) produce an org chart identifying the players on the team.

Hit the ground running has acquired an altogether new and ridiculous definition.

And, I'm an old fart and I just don't give that much of a shit any more. My abilities are declining. All I want is a certain number of hours and a defined amount of work.

At least, I may have found a work at home client. That would be best, because my tolerance for putting up with assholes in the office has declined to just a nonce above zero.

The problem. The work at home client wants me to take a series of tests on a variety of programming languages and software applications... one of which I've never seen. Years ago, when I was a young, tough guy, this wouldn't have bothered me a bit.

After all, what's another software application? I've downloaded the manual and I found a bunch of tutorials on YouTube. Walking into a client's office and hacking away at a new software application... well, I did that routinely when I was younger.

In my old age, things are different. I don't have the confidence in my ability to improvise. My mind just is not as agile as it was 20 years ago. Motivation is a big factor, too. I really don't know if I want the job, so studying for a week to learn another piece of shit application program irritates the hell out of me.

If some asshole client wants me to learn a new program, the bastards should pay me to learn.

Well, those were the old rules. Back in the old days (pre 2008), employers thought that they had to pay employees to learn their systems. Not any more.

My work at home client essentially wants me to put in a free week of work, 30 to 40 hours, learning their systems on my own time, before they start the time clock.

What the hell! We'll see how much motivation I can muster for this bullshit. I'll do what I can.