Harleys, Cars, Girls & Guitars

Cubs Kickoff Season Against Pirates Tomorrow

I'm a Cubs' fan for the same reason I'm a Catholic. I was born that way. My daddy went to his grave without seeing the Cubs win the World Series, and it's looking like I'll share his fate. Here's a little video from the Trib of Wrigley, festooned for opening day.

At least the Cubs start the season against the perennial doormats of the Central Division, the Pittsburgh Pirates. Trouble with that is that the Cubs lost 10 of 15 to the cellar dwelling Pirates in 2010. The opener will be at Wrigley. Rain and snow are forecast, with a high of 47 degrees. I'll be able to watch the game, if it is played, on WGN.

If the Cubs are out of it by July 4th, I'll switch allegiances and root for the Yankees. I'll make a trip to Chinatown and buy a rag Yankees' cap.

Starlin Castro is going to be a star, and he's got a great baseball name. I'll watch some games just to keep an eye on him. We've got a new second basement named Darwin Barney. You can't beat that for an old fashioned baseball name.

When I retire, if I have any money left, I'm going to spend some summer days sitting at Wrigley, bullshitting with the old farts in the cheap seats. They remember all the old rock and roll bands from Chicago. What better way to wait for the call to the next world?

Funniest, Wisest Dilbert Ever

Today's Dilbert comic strip whacks the green energy scam upside the head.

Thanks, Dilbert! We needed that.

Golden Hill Nursing Home Demonstration in Kingston

I ran into this demonstration in Kingston yesterday as I was out shopping. Ulster County is considering privatizing the country run nursing home at Golden Hill. The demonstrators told me that they feared that privatization would eventually lead to the closing of Golden Hill.

CSEA (the Civil Service Employees Association) apparently organized the demonstration, although I saw some evidence that the “professional left” from Woodstock was out in force.

Apparently, Golden Hill is a “public” or you might say “welfare” nursing home. I'm trying not to be negative. Here's a bit from the pamphlet the demonstrators gave me:

Golden Hill is the only facility of its kind in Ulster County. It's also the top facility. The top-notch workforce at Golden Hill provides loving, compassionate and consistent care. While remaining in the home is always ideal, it isn't always possible. Golden Hill is the next best place.

Golden Hill exists as a safety net for Ulster County's elderly. After living, working and paying taxes in Ulster County for their entire lives, don't our elderly deserve quality public care in their own community?

Most of the folks at the demonstration did look like ordinary folks who probably work at Golden Hill. But, I also saw a sprinkling of the same Woodstock leftists you'll see at any demonstration in this area. This car evidently belongs to one of them.

Woodstock's “professional left” tends to throw every leftist issue into the pot at every demonstration. This car is so laden with stickers that the driver can barely look out the back window. From “Question Consumption” to “End Racism” to “Stop the War” (whichever one we're currently fighting), these stickers are a common sight in Woodstock.

I don't really know the specifics of the issues surrounding Golden Hill. Working at a nursing home is a very tough, low paying job. You've got to admire the people who do it and do it well. I doubt that jobs will run out in that field because we're not going to run out of seniors who need nursing home care.

Here's a link to a Kingston Freeman article about the political controversy over Golden Hill.  It's all about money.  Ulster County will provide a $4.2 million subsidy to Golden Hill this year.  Nursing home care is extraordinarily expensive.  I carry my own long-term care policy, but I'm not at all confident that that policy will entirely cover the cost of my care when I need it.

The Woodstock Times Tackles Wisconsin

Our very own loony left rag covered a MoveOn.org demonstration in New Paltz, and even managed to report the other side. The subject... the effort of Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin to curtail public employee compensation and benefits.

One hundred protesters showed up for the rally. Not hard to gather up that many protesters in New Paltz, home of a SUNY campus. Representatives of the completely crazy Women in Black made an appearance. Hell, they demonstrate on the Village Green in Woodstock every Sunday just to stay in practice.

The protesters banged on drums. As commenters on Ann Althouse's blog have noted, no leftist demonstration is complete without a drum circle. Noticeably missing from the New Paltz demonstration were huge paper mache puppets, another staple of 60s nostalgia.

Typical quote from the article:

“All I can say is thank you, Governor Walker. You have done something amazing. You have brought all of us together today. We will stand up and defend our democracy together,” said event organizer Linda Abbott of MoveOn.

This “we're defending democracy” bit has been the standard slogan of the Wisconsin public employees union. In fact, they're trying to overturn the results of an election that awarded Wisconsin Republicans both houses of the state assembly and the governorship.

Read down to the bottom of the article. The Times does print a few quotes from Walker supporters.

Bengay Does and Don'ts

Now that I'm a Bengay veteran, I have a few tips on proper Bengay use and etiquette:

DO take a shower before applying. The stuff doesn't work very well if you apply one layer over another.

DO take a shower to get the stink off before attending any social occasion.

DO change your underwear every day. A particularly tough one for a work at home guy. That Bengay stink builds up with successive applications.

DO buy the twin pack at Costco. Much cheaper. And, they've got the extra strength version. Hot as hell.

DON'T get that stuff on your dick. Burns like hell.

DON'T get that stuff on your a-hole. You'll wish you were dead.

DON'T wait until you're down to the bottom of your last tube before restocking. In the middle of some cold night, you'll be very sorry.

DON'T buy the scentless version. Practically worthless. You'll get used to the stink of the regular stuff.

Follow these rules and you'll be a happy senior. Your aches and pains won't go away entirely. Join a gym with a damn good hot tub.

If all else fails, move to Florida.

Elizabeth Taylor Gone... Another 60s Icon Passes

When you're an old fart, you read the obituaries with a keen eye. The question is always: “How long does it look like I've got?”

So, the news that Pinetop Perkins passed on at age 97... well, I took some hope from that. Now, Liz Taylor expires at 79! That's pretty young for a woman. However, she had congestive heart failure.

Read just the other day that the average lifespan for a man is now 78, for a woman 83. Every day, I wake up and take inventory of the body parts and functions. What works? What doesn't? What hurts?

The list of maladies keeps increasing. Makes me wonder whether I really want to stretch it out into my 80s. The body disintegrates so rapidly in our 60s. Pain becomes an everyday issue. The disintegration and pain have to be astonishing as we reach our 70s and 80s.

I figure I've got 10 to 15 years of good health. Maybe I can work another four or five years. Sitting on my butt all day in front of a computer is becoming painful, and boring. I'd like to be doing something else. If the damned snow ever melts, I'm going to pull the Harley out of the garage and drive coast to coast. That is... if my back holds up.

Liz had a big appetite for men. How many marriages? Six? Eight? Then, she became a dreary fag hag. That seems to be a Hollywood must. When she was young, she made a few good movies. That was back in an era when the best actresses didn't pull off all their clothes and spread eagle for the camera, so we missed out on the full picture of her beauty. Maybe that's for the better.

She was sort of a comic character for the last couple of decades. The weird crap with Michael Jackson was inexplicable. Bad parts in bad movies and TV. Part of being an icon is doing the same damned thing over and over again.

I don't believe that Cleopatra ever showed the kind of cleavage Liz is showing in the above picture. But, what the hell.

Good luck in the next life, Liz!

Two days straight I've posted obituaries. That tells you a lot about where I'm headed!

Pinetop Perkins Passes On

One of the last (if not the last) surviving members of Muddy Water's great bands, Pinetop Perkins died yesterday at the age of 97.

The great era of the Delta bluesmen is over. During the 1960s, I saw Perkins play with Muddy many times at small clubs in Chicago. In fact, the clubs were so small that, between sets, I walked up to the bandstand to shake hands and talk with the musicians. On a couple of occasions, I threw back a shot backstage with the band.

A couple of years ago, I saw Perkins again at a community college concert. The band was one of those sidemen outfits minus the great charismatic leader that define the great Chicago blues bands. Perkins was great. His playing just kept becoming deeper and more mysterious.

Perkins was a regular on that most legendary blues radio program, King Biscuit Time, which debuted in 1941. 

I remember so keenly those exciting days in Chicago when the blues was king. Muddy Waters, Otis Spahn, Paul Butterfield, Hound Dog Taylor... I heard them all close up in small rooms. It was an incredible scene, and it passed away so quickly.

Second Day of Spring in the Catskills

Just when you think winter is finally over... the spring snowstorm hits the mountains. Used to love this when the kids were young, because the snow is the consistency of cake. They got a big kick out of it.

Now that I'm an old fart, I don't love it any more. Heading down to Florida looks more and more attractive. Now that I'm working from home, all I need is a laptop and I can work from anywhere.

What am I Gonna Do With Myself if I Don't Work?

On the one hand, I'm sick of getting up in the morning and slogging away at the computer. On the other hand, what in the hell else am I gonna do? This Roadrunner/Wile E Coyote cartoon summarizes the problem.

Working is all I know how to do. But, I can see it coming. That's going to be taken from me, just like everything else.

So, what next? Drinking? Whore mongering with the 60 year old sluts? Drugging?

Or, on the other hand, I could take up hunting, fishing and gardening.

I've caught my roadrunner. Had the little bastard for dinner. Now, what in the hell am I supposed to do with my time?

I'm a Mean Old Man!

Get off the my lawn, you rotten kids! Ugh! I'm going to have to chase you with a broom!

Yes, it's official. I'm a mean old man.

I'm mean to the girls... always telling them there's no hope because they can't possibly be Myrna. The music world is a pit of vipers that I want to stomp and cut to ribbons. Every bone in my body aches, and my ass hurts.

Attractive, eh? Well...fuck you and the horse you rode in on!

I don't way to do anything unless it pays. Don't call on me for a gig unless you've got some bucks. Don't ask me to do anything for free, you worthless SOBs!

And yet... and yet...

My ability to work is diminishing daily. Won't be long before I'll have no choice but to quit and find something to do that I enjoy. Just because I enjoy it. Maybe, no money.

Haven't looked at life like that since I was a kid. Back then, the situation was completely reversed. I wanted to have fun and enjoy life. Whether I made any money was beside the point.

Something changed it all. Could be the raising two kids. Or, maybe burying the two wives. Or the body just breaking down and rotting.

But, I'm definitely a mean old man. Maybe it's time for a change.